Consolation Prize
by Wicked R
Summary: post 8x10. Devastated that he was compelled to kill Samandriel, Castiel stabs himself with the angel blade. Traditionally shameless Whump!Cas/Protective Winchesters.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Consolation Prize

Disclaimers/note: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural, so much so I don't even watch much more than Castiel's scenes. That's it. So pardon my ignorance and the mistakes I may make due to my unfamiliarity with this universe.

Set: after 8x10.

Summary: Devastated that he was compelled to kill Samandriel, Castiel stabs himself with the angel blade.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: leaning towards Destiel

Blackness parting, slits of faint light rushed Castiel's awareness. Next, there was a dull throbbing in his guts he became aware of and all the memories came with it at the same time as his surrounds permeated his consciousness. The angel welcomed neither, at this moment in time he didn't want anything to do with this world. Killing himself was useless as he was always made to come back, resurrection harder on him every time, so at the very least he had been hoping that he had damaged his vessel and grace enough to keep him unconscious and saved from having to live with himself for a while. But the voice that was calling out to him wasn't helping.

Castiel had to become aware that he was lying on a freshly made, quite comfortable bed and that Dean was holding his hand, talking to him. The angelic creature had no inclination to open his eyes, but the hunter's voice so concerned and upset that he finally complied with the request. His vision swam a little at first and he wasn't sure if it was because of the unshed tears or the weakness caused by letting some of his grace flow out the self inflicted stab wound earlier, but now his mind concentrated on his surroundings enough to be able to focus on a language that wasn't Enochian and understand what Dean was saying.

"Cas, don't do this to me man, are you all right?" The resting man nodded weakly, prompting more concerned looks from his friend, "we bandaged our stomach as best as we could, but didn't do much else with the wound cause we thought you'd heal yourself? Can you heal yourself?"

"Not fully yet," Castiel sighed. He didn't test his powers and had no inclination to do so. He deserved to suffer for making the wrong choices that many times.

"What happened back there?"

"Samandriel attacked me and I acted in self defence," Castiel recited what he was compelled to say.

"Are you in pain?" Dean remained sympathetic.

Castiel stared at him. He was in some pain, but he deserved a lot more. The emotional pain of being a failure as an angel and as a friend however, Castiel wanted to block out. So he answered, "yes."

Hating to see his favourite angel suffer, Dean scrambled agitatedly to retrieve his jacket from the back of a chair and take a box of vicodin out its pocket, "these should help," he walked over to the sink for some water, "can you sit up for a bit?"

Castiel groaned, leaning up on one elbow, "will those make me sleep? I'll be okay, I just need to sleep."

"I don't know," Dean permitted, "perhaps, if you take the whole box," he deposited several tablets into Castiel's palm, "if not, I could send Sam out for some sleeping pills later when he comes back." The angel nodded, holding his hand out for the rest of the tablets.

"I should change those bandages, they've soaked through," Dean stood to get their first aid box they've carried around everywhere.

"No," Castiel said forcefully. The fallen angel was quite sure the wound was pretty much healed over by now despite no conscious effort from his part, but he didn't want Dean to know that. The hunter's concern, somebody watching over him for a change felt so good he wanted to prolong the experience. Worn out and not caring about much anymore, he let his instincts take over, "just let me sleep Dean," he closed his eyes and turned on his injured side, "please," he muttered.

"Okay Cas, okay, just rest then," Dean unfurled the covers at the bed's feet and pulled them up on top of his angel till his chest. Having talked to Castiel he wasn't as worried as he had been before, but the injured man's behaviour still troubled him. Purgatory would've left his mark on anyone, never mind the experience of falling, misusing and getting high on powers or the taking over of Sam's hallucinations. The hunter knew that physically, Castiel wasn't in the best state either. It was obvious his powers were not working a hundred percent since coming back, what's more it was possible they never would be. All that added up to a solid conviction in Dean, that he should or would not let Castiel out of his sight. Perhaps he should think of some kind of binding spell to make sure Cas was ok before he headed off somewhere, well anywhere. It would have to be a powerful spell and maybe didn't exist, but Cas' frail state might make it more likely so he opened his laptop for research.

It didn't take long till Castiel's breathing deepened, but instead of a restful sleep every rise of his chest was accompanied by a weak moan. Dean couldn't concentrate this way, not when reminded of his discomfort on a constant basis. Hoping that he could offer the napping angel some kind of comfort, he climbed onto the bed next to him with his laptop and used one hand to draw soothing circles on Castiel's back. "I'm here if you need me Cas," he assured the wounded celestian. The moans quietened in response with only the occasional sigh escaping the angel's lips and for the moment, Dean had to do with that.

Tbc


	2. Sharp

Chapter 2: Sharp

As his stabwound was healed, it was fairly optimistic of Castiel to hope he could sleep and escape his mind's hell, even with the drugs. He had been awake for at least half an hour now, but decided not to open his eyes just yet. Not if keeping his eyes shut meant he could still feel the warmness of Dean's body next to him, the hunter's reassuring hand on his shoulder, fingers brushing his hair out his face occasionally. Being in such close proximity to the man he'd fallen for, died for, would and would've done anything for, felt like a reward he'd in fact earned. It put the punishments he felt he'd also deserved in sharp contrast. Eternity was still there to catch up on those, the stark reality was that he couldn't escape them even if he wanted to, but the comfort Dean was offering was surely temporary. He didn't want it to end, he would prolong it as long as it was possible. Sadly, the door opened at this point and Sam's voice interrupted Castiel's indulgence in bodily comforts.

"How's Cas?" Was the first thing the younger Winchester asked.

Dean shook his head, pursing his lips. "I took to change his bandages while he was asleep, but there was no need. The wound is gone, Sam, but he's not waking up. Why's he not waking up?" Dean fretted.

"Maybe he needs a lot of rest after the toil of regenerating," Sam suggested with a tiny shrug.

"It's hard to sleep when people are talking," Castiel admitted his wakefulness, never having been very good at the lying and deceiving business.

Dean jumped to lean towards him so he could see his face, "Cas! You worried us so! You need to tell me what's going on," the hunter looked at his bedfellow expectantly, patiently waiting for his answer.

"I..I just feel so drained. I don't want to get up yet Dean, is that ok?" Castiel turned his head towards the older Winchester with imploring, sad eyes.

"Of course you can rest if you need to," Dean assured him, hands hovering over Castiel indecisively, "were you hurt anywhere else we didn't know about? Your wings fine? Anywhere we can't see?" Castiel shook his head uncertainly. How could he tell them it was his will to live that was missing? That unless he was with Dean his existence was miserable and felt futile? He drew a hand across his stomach where the injury had healed over.

"Does that still hurt?" Dean put his palm over Castiel's hand, "the skin looks healthy, is there some damage unhealed still on the inside?" The hunter tried to guess the reasons for Cas' unusual behaviour.

Castiel looked at the brothers sheepishly, "Sam?" He ventured.

The younger Winchester stepped closer to sit on the bed at Castiel's other side, "what do you need Cas?"

"Dean said you'd be bringing sleeping pills?"

"Have them," Sam exchanged a look with Dean, looking for his encouragement which he got in the form of a small nod, "I'll get some water and the tablets."

"You sure they will help? Sleeping?" Dean questioned suspiciously. Of course Castiel needed rest after being injured, but he never sought it so eagerly, it was more of necessity he even avoided if possible. "Why don't you tell me the reason you're so weak? Have you ever completely recovered your strength after coming back from purgatory? Or are you cut off?" He had to wait till his angel leant on his elbow to to swallow the drugs. "Cas, no more secrets, remember?"

Castiel blinked at him uncertainly, "I don't think I'll ever be as powerful as I once was," he began, not exactly answering the question.

"Thankful for that," Dean raised his eyebrows sardonically, "no offence, but certain powers don't belong in this world. Let's just forget about that bit and say that you were a hundred percent charged when you came into our lives in that barn. On a scale of one to a hundred, how much juice you think you have nowadays on an ongoing basis? Not counting being injured of course."

The angel frowned, concentrating on trying to gauge himself and give an honest answer. "Usually, that would be about 75-80%."

"And right now?" Dean pressed.

Castiel bit the inside of his bottom lip and sighed. A big part of him demanded he tells the truth, but he also felt confused. If Dean would've been in danger, then yes, he'd function at his highest right there and then, however at the moment melancholy weighed him down so much he doubted he'd have the motivation to lift his head. He looked at the brothers with pleading eyes, "I'll get myself together I promise." He averted his eyes ashamed, disgusted of himself. "I'm sorry for not feeling well."

"You don't need to say sorry for that Cas," Sam exchanged worried looks with Dean.

Dean patted his friend's arm encouragingly. "There's only one thing I need to ask before I let you rest. Is there anything we should know about?"

Castiel shook his head, turning to his side and curling up around himself as if that could hide him from his shame. Dean misinterpreted this as a sign of their third wheel being in pain. "Sam, get me a towel dipped in warm water for his stomach." The younger Winchester nodded, complying eagerly to do something to ease the angel's suffering.

"Dean, I don't need.." Castiel tried to argue the truth but was interrupted immediately.

"Just shut up Cas," the hunter removed Castiel's arms out the way to put the wet towel in place and kept his hand on it to make sure his friend couldn't object anymore.

Tbc


	3. Bodywork

Chapter 3: Bodywork

Once Sam was asleep on the other bed and thankfully turned towards the wall the other way from them, Dean ventured to attempt a little more than holding a towel in place. Castiel had settled into a restful looking state once his friend applied the compress, so Dean supplemented it by drawing gentle circles soothingly on the angel's stomach, which seemed to have smoothed the expression of discomfort off Castiel's face. So the hunter carried on with it even after the towel has dried and was discarded. Assuming Cas was back to sleep by now, he still continued on without thinking, driven by an instinct that told him he was helping. It was only his pace and the pressure he used that changed. His fingers moved gently up and down and as he was watching the sleeping man he wondered how many times and how seriously Cas had been hurt in the past, never asking for help or giving any indication he was injured. It raised a certain protectiveness inside Dean. Cas shouldn't be left alone, especially not now when he became one of a kind, somewhere between angel and human.

As if unbeknownst to himself, another part of him registered the tactile sensations rubbing Castiel's belly gave him. The angel's stomach was hard and soft at the same time. Castiel would never work out or understand the need for it, but his grace would sustain his body at an optimal level anyway and that meant finely, but subtly defined abs, not too much and not too little, exactly right. He smelt good too, Dean noted, no doubt under the same principles, determined by his grace. Drawing larger circles, Dean's fingers ran through the light line of hair of Castiel's underbelly, alternating with the smooth plane of the upper abdomen against his palm. Budding instincts wondered what it would be like to press his head against Castiel's bare stomach he exposed for the massage, use it as a pillow, then the mindful part of his brain reminded him he didn't want to hurt Cas any more than the angel was already. The hunter had to literally shake his head to be able to shake his wish for closer contact and focus back at the task at hand, keeping Castiel comfortable and able to regenerate. Once again, he consciously thought about how much pressure to apply to be operative, not too hard so he didn't cause any avoidable pain.

Castiel was breathing deep, with the occasional sigh that sounded like relief so Dean assumed he had to be doing something right. The Winchester had to admit to himself that he kind of enjoyed providing the massage, aiding Castiel, the feel of his stomach under his fingers and the way they sent shivers up through his body and made his breathing hitch. Cas was so fine-looking with his tussled hair and vulnerable expression..Dean jumped inwardly, becoming aware of his own thoughts. What the hell! At the same time, he became aware of his dick, which got noticeably harder.

Dean's hand stilled to a shock above the graceful curves of Castiel's stomach and it took him a moment to gather that his palm had stopped in a place closer to the injured man's genitals than he should ever be. Just when did he work his way down to Cas' crotch? Swallowing compulsively, he had to suppress a moan of lust elicited by those shapely lines defining his angel's middle. In some ways, Cas was like a sculpture, immortal to change or age. He would always be handsome, blue eyes sparkling with a transcendent innocence no demon creature, purgatory or hell could remove. And Castiel didn't even know how attractive he looked.

Dean groaned in annoyance. He had to get the images of undressing Cas in his mind out of his head or he'll have to deal with his arousal. His hand trembled as he removed it from its tell-tale position while he promised himself he'd keep himself from touching the angel again during this being wounded ordeal. Cas should be back to normal in a couple of hours the most, but if he'd still need something, Sam would have to deal with fallen angel.

All through, Castiel had been lying fairly quietly, not giving any indication that he was awake as smooth fingers ran slow rounds his front. It had been very, very pleasant. Nobody cared for him as much as Dean, especially not in that physical and all encompassing way. Nobody touched him so considerately, so warmly, intimately. It made Castiel feel safe and wanted, filling a deep hole in his soul that yearned for satiating. He didn't deserve it of course, but Dean had been standing by his side unblaming before when his own brothers and sisters didn't.

It was a perfect moment there on the bed as if the human would've understood exactly what to do to comfort the angel without even knowing what exactly had made him so needy and Castiel didn't want it to end. The quiet pleasure lulled the fallen angel into a state captivated by bodily sensations and made him wonder what it would be like to be touched elsewhere, like the part of his body that became hard when watching porn, kissing Meg or right now.

Bit by bit, it seemed more of his wishes were coming true as his friend has started to glide his fingers in wider circles around on his body. Dean's touch melted him inside, making all his troubles dissipate for the time being, tension escaped him and a warm feeling built up in his chest, with a different warmth pooling in his groins. Castiel let it all happen, he let his vessel show him the way, he knew this was exactly where and how he wanted it to be. There was no one else he could love this much, only Dean.

And then all of a sudden the rubs stopped abruptly. Castiel had to open his eyes to see the reason for the ceasing of his pleasures and found Dean gasping when catching his eyes and looking away immediately. The hunter withdrew from the up close and personal position, "you can keep the bed. I should go get something to eat," Dean concluded, heading to the bathroom at first. There was something he needed to take care of.

Castiel did as he was told for the time being, still reeling from the experience. If things like that were on offer, he didn't want to die anymore. Humans' actions confused him often though and this was one of those times. He will ask Dean why he had stopped and ran away.

Tbc


	4. Know How

Chapter 4: Know-how

Dean could not see Castiel appearing in the bathroom cause he had his eyes shut, but the angel was a bit surprised Dean didn't hear the flutter of his wings. Of course that could've been because of the heavy breathing. The Winchester had his penis in both hands and wetness was glistening at the tip of it. It looked so big and hot Castiel had to swallow down the sensations threatening to overwhelm his mind.

Dean was stroking himself with alternating hands, struggling a bit in fact unbeknownst to Castiel. Now that the bodily contact with Cas was only a memory, it required some effort from the hunter to replicate the feeling experienced in bed, efforts that were frequently spotted with a part of his brain reminding him that he shouldn't have felt in that sexual way towards his angel in a male vessel in the least, thus wasting the moment each time only for his need to rare its ugly head over and over regardless. He just had to go faster, concentrate solely on the physical sensations he himself gave himself, finish, then forget about the whole thing. So Dean started to stroke his length more rapidly, little whimpers escaping him with the exertion.

The hunter opened his eyes to be able to judge better how far he was from cumming, finding the object of his arousal in front of him at arm's length, in roughly the same state of undress he had left him. Castiel was standing there without his coats on, shirt and trousers top button undone so Dean could reach to where he wanted to massage. For a moment, Dean thought that his imagination managed to conjure up a pretty good imitation of the original, but after a glace at the angel's bulging trousers where Castiel's erection was clearly straining to get free, the hunter had to conclude that the angel had flown into the bathroom, "jesus Christ Cas, personal space!" Dean gasped, unable to tear his usual intent stare from that exposed thin body, seemingly fragile, yet resilient and proportionally sculpted, and with a perfectly and dreamily chiselled face to top the effect off. Surprisingly given how long they've known each other and how strong their bond was, it was the first time Dean had had the chance to see him close to naked in at least as much as the dim yellow glow of the bathroom light. The human blushed deep, but the strong ache in his groins didn't abate and his penis lurched forward all of its own accord in Castiel's direction.

Fixated on his human by the same invisible string binding them together, Castiel's eyes became foggy slits and his lips parted with a moan. Having watched humanity grow and multiply and have sex for the sake of it, he had never seen anything so unbelievably erotic as whatever Dean was doing, in his whole existence.

"Get out!" Dean showed Castiel the door, letting go of his penis regardless of its intentions to reach the angel.

"Why? It feels so good to look at you, to have you touch me," Castiel groused aroused, but also a little perplexed by the fact Dean had been denying the physical factor in their bond for a long time.

"Cas! I am not gay!" Dean shook his head vehemently, but kept his voice down in fear Sam would hear their conversation.

"Are you not?" Castiel tilted his head pryingly, his brow furrowing in an expression of pure innocence and candour only he was capable of.

"No!" Dean raised his voice in annoyance before remembering Sam, "you need to get out!" He looked down at his erection which was still not in agreement with him. "Now, Cas! And don't you dare to intrude into such obviously personal space again!"

"Yes Dean," Castiel blinked and sighed. He would comply with this particular human's wishes and needs, he will always do so even though he did not understand why it all turned sour so quickly. The experience however reinforced the determination in him not to despair, lose or kill himself and continue to live for that occasional sign of affection Dean was prepared to give like he had before. The resolve didn't stop him nevertheless from lowering his head and looking truly crestfallen. His mind had already initiated the teleporting, but his confused heart wasn't in it.

Dean would've had clamped his mouth shut if he had a free hand, but those were too busy pulling up his pants. As usual when he was shouting or growling at Cas, he regretted his explosion of reaction almost immediately. He didn't want it to sound like he was rejecting the angel or anything, "no, no, you shouldn't leave, not in the middle of a situation!" He managed to stuff his large member into his trousers and pull the zip up at least half way.

"You don't want me to leave?" Castiel asked with a furrowed brow.

"Not..not completely," Dean took a step towards him, "it was just about the privacy to use the toilet."

Castiel nodded and closed his eyes, "I'll turn around."

"No, no Cas, that's fine now, it's..whatever. You ok now? Healed?"

The angel's tense shoulders relaxed at bit at the sight of the concern of his human's face. He didn't want to worry the hunter any further, "yes, Dean, completely."

"Okay then. Look man, before you leave you've got to understand some things. You know when you were watching porn and I said we're not supposed to talk about it? Well, things like this are the same kind. When I'm helping you and it involves some kind of touching, you don't mention it to anyone, capisce? Feels, not either. Especially not when we aren't alone."

"We are alone now." Castiel stated.

"Yeah, we are alone now so that's why I'm saying these things. But we aren't completely alone as Sam's just behind that door. Cas wha.." Dean reacted as the angel reached out to him, "where are we!" The hunter jumped as water lapped at his feet. Much he couldn't see cause of the darkness, but he could see nothing manmade anywhere.

"Beach on a Galapagos island. We're alone here. You're free to say whatever you can't say around people and you can also do whatever you can't do amid civilisation," he looked expectantly at Dean.

"That's just not fair," the demon hunter huffed and panted, staring at Castiel's close, innocently expectant face in the moonlight. "You can't zap us off to desert islands any time we have a..we have a..moment!" He gesticulated wildly around himself towards the orchids and cacti.

"This is San Cristóbal Island. It's not uninhabited. It has a population of approximately 6500 people, but most of them would be in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno right now. There's no soul around for miles, although there are some sea lions not far behind you," Castiel nodded in that direction.

"Cas!" Dean whipped his head around in exasperation to see something move in the water that could've seemed creepy in the darkness if the angel hadn't already told him they were sea lions, otherwise irrelevant, "people don't mean necessarily mean literally desert island!" He grumbled, trying to pull his jeans higher as the legs were getting rather wet from the inlapping slow waves. "Are you trying to cool me down or something!"

"I'm giving you the opportunity to express yourself under the circumstances you required, both verbally and physically," Castiel said seriously, looking at the human anxiously, the sparkling moon in the water reflecting in his blue eyes.

Dean gulped, not sure how he was going to get himself out of this one. "Okay. Okay," he was trying to calm himself. "So we have this conversation once and for all and then we never mention it again, all right?" He looked at the warrior of god for confirmation which he got in the form of a slightly mystified nod. The hunter pursed his lips, nodding to himself as encouragement as well and patted Castiel on the shoulder before moving past him and stepping out the sea to sit down on the still warm sand a few feet away from the water. Dean waited till Castiel settled down next to him. He rubbed his chin for a while before speaking, "you never said it yourself, but other angels, Bobby, as well as different creatures have pointed out to me if it wasn't obvious that you have feelings for me that go beyond what you could have for family or friends. "

"I only know that you are the most important person in my life," Castiel said candidly, looking at Dean with an open expression.

"Good, that's good," Dean sighed, glad that the l word had not been mentioned, but things still needed to be cleared up, "but the love of angels, it's supposed to be untainted of earthly desires, right?"

Castiel sighed, "yes. But I'm not a regular angel anymore."

"You mean..you mean you have..that you want to.." Dean gulped, hoping that for once Castiel didn't need explantions to understand what was implied.

"It means I don't think there's an existence worth living without you," Castiel finished the sentence not exactly the way Dean had been fishing for. However, the weight of what was said was there no less.

"Cas.." Dean trailed off. He didn't want to hear any of this, but he knew his friend had fallen apart so many times over the last while. He put his palms on Castiel's shoulders, "I'm here for you buddy, you know that. Any time."

Castiel looked up into his eyes, shaking his head slowly, "I'm confused Dean. I want to know how I'm allowed to show my affections towards you."

Dean raised his eyebrows, taken aback once again. So it was back to that was it, "how would you want to show your affections?" He gesticulated wildly, masking his discomfiture.

"I'd like to be permitted to stay with you, like Sam does. I'd like it if you explained to me more often why you argue with me and shout at me and then touch me the way you did in the motel. Some of these human interactions make no sense."

"Right. Right," Dean nodded distinctly, realising he has to get past his manly instincts and take into account how the angel perceived the world. "Okay. So, we're friends. We're more than friends, we're family, so uhm, never mind when I grumble. And about the other thing..ah well, men need to jerk off sometimes. And since you're spending so much time corporeal, you might need to sometimes as well. That's all it is."

Castiel turned to Dean to look him in the eyes, "no, it isn't. My bodily reactions are more often than not in linear function with my affections when the feeling relates to something I've experienced on earth. Like with Meg."

"There! See? I can understand that. Meg, a woman, or at least a demon in a meatsuit that's female. That is how it works," Dean jumped on the idea enthusiastically. As long as they were steering clear of his previous not-so-straight-forward touching activities.

Castiel shook his head though, "I don't see you like that, I don't see anyone like that. Male or female, that is not a notable quality of anybody's soul or true form. There are a hundred other qualities that define a spirit bearing entity before such a thing."

"Well, for me, it does matter," Dean snapped, "there are some things you shouldn't do with guys, like share a bathroom, if you don't want to be labelled gay!"

"I am aware of that," Castiel nodded benevolently, "that is why we're here, out of eyesight and earshot."

Dean opened his mouth and shot it again. They were going in circles, not getting anywhere. It didn't help matters that Castiel still didn't wear his normal attire. The sight of the angel's flat, perfectly smooth stomach did things to him he didn't want to admit and the memory of the tickly hairs of Castiel's pleasure trail playing the nerve endings of his fingertips like a piano were too recent to be possible to be ignored. But he wasn't gay, right? Taking a big breath, he took stock of his conversation partner's expectant and vulnerable expression. The humanfriendly angel had never completely recovered from taking all those souls into himself and desperately needed an anchor, that was clear. Dean had no idea how not to sound like he was rejecting the man he loved and cared for deeply in every way, in every other way than sexual he reminded himself. "Look," he bit into his bottom lip, "we can be a bit more..uhm, casual when nobody else is around," he put an arm round the smaller man in demonstration.

Notwithstanding Dean's jumbled thoughts, the embrace felt natural, determined by his genuine care for the immortal. The hunter wasn't hugging with as much joy and elation as he had been when finding Castiel in purgatory, but all his fondness of the angel who fell for him condensed in the squeeze, along with his relief that Cas had healed and now presented no more than the usual difficulties that came with the day to day communicating with a person primarily coming from an even if distorted, but celestial perspective. And even in that, Cas had been endearing. Their bodies slid close together, side by side like the pieces of a puzzle and that's how their reunions typically felt. The angel's breathing fell into step with Dean's immediately and Dean had to wonder if it was something Cas was purposefully doing or if it was a subconscious reaction cause coincidence it was certainly not.

Their bodies were touching skin to skin, but however small the surface of their fronts left bare by the unbuttoned shirts, it was electrifying. It was never quite like touching a human, there was a raw energy that pulsated into the grasp of a sixth sense if someone was receptive to it. It felt good, like lying down on grass soaking up the sunshine, there was no doubt about it, but should it make his dick harden again?

Dean patted Castiel's shoulder dismissively of his own body's reaction. He was surely just responding to stimuli, angel mojo closeness perhaps. He took to disentangle himself from the confusion with letting go of his angel, purposefully trying to ignore the thoughts that propelled him to ravish the unlikely, millennia old virgin. But he couldn't let go.

The energy, it was Castiel bleeding love from every pore and orifice possible. Had he not deserved just one little kiss for all his troubles he went through for Dean if it was human warmth and closeness he craved and needed to keep himself grounded? Pulling back a little to position himself, he covered Castiel's mouth with his own in a soft and painfully gentle kiss that did nothing other for them than make them crave more. So it completely surprised Dean when Castiel pulled back and even pushed the human a few inches away. "Sam!"

"Sam?" Dean exclaimed uncomprehending.

"He just called me."

"Oh you answer Sam now?" The hunter huffed. It had been ok while they were responding as their bodies wanted, but talking had propelled Dean back into awkwardness territory again.

"It seems urgent. Crowley's there." Castiel explained and raised two fingers to Dean's forehead to transport him back.

"Cas, wait!" Dean shouted. He didn't want to arrive to the motel with them half dressed and with his fly down. Unfortunately they were already at flapping wings stage.

Tbc


	5. Trumpets

Chapter 5: Trumpets

When Dean reappeared in the motel room, he had to acknowledge he was somewhat more concerned with the state of his undress than Crowley's presence. After all, he had met and nattered with the king of hell several times, but had never been found in a position suggesting being compromised with another man by his lack of clothing before. Sam had promptly greeted them with a bewildered expression and a look down on himself confirmed for Dean that he had his buttons indeed undone on both his jeans and his shirt.

"Oh excuse me for interrupting at such a delightfully aberrant moment!" Crowley looked at the arrivals with a grin stretching from ear to ear. "Fall any more Castiel and you will be just like us revolting demons! Oh I can't wait to tell your other lover Meg, I'm sure she will be delighted you two are back together," the king of hell rejoiced at the sight.

"You're misunderstanding things," Dean put some space between himself and his angel and made to make himself presentable.

"What do you want?" Castiel intoned gruffly.

"To give you a chance to be with your aficionado for good," Crowley offered. "The stone describes a way to close the gates of heaven and hell both and if somebody-" he made a vague gesture towards the Winchesters, "will actually do that, I want to make sure you're not stuck in heaven Castiel."

"What are you talking about?" Dean grumbled.

"Eye for an eye, that's what. There's a ritual that can bind a celestial and demonic being to earth even when the gates shut if they both take part in the ritual sealed with a common agreement," Crowley posed.

"You want to make sure you're not stuck in hell no matter what," Sam remarked.

"Not a bad deal, is it?" Crowley turned in a circle, checking everybody's expressions, "I mean, wouldn't you want your beloved Castiel here?"

"How do you know about this ritual?" Dean accused, sitting down on his bed to scrub the wet sand off his bare feet.

"Oh, I didn't think you should believe me just like that, I'll give you time to think about it. And as a sign of good faith, here's a present for you," he clicked his fingers to make another humanoid form appear in the room. Dressed in a black suit and looking around to get his bearings, the angel Inais appeared a little dishevelled and slightly bloody. "This little hot wings wannabe Castiel facsimile came to me wanting to make the deal. But I'm guessing the real Castiel is more qualified to fit the bill, eh? So..laters, Hardy pets." Crowley took himself out the room.

"Inais?" Castiel questioned with his head tilted, stepping closer.

"Oh captain! Castiel, if you'd know what kind of legend you've become among some of us with those unique experiences nobody ever faced," Castiel's ex subordinate started gushing.

"What did he mean you're a Castiel wannabe?" Sam probed the newcomer as well.

"You misunderstand things," Inias started. "I was told to do so, go make the deal. Naomi said I'll be believable as I had taken Castiel's side and followed him with devotion in the past. We needed a free pass and a way to undo the heaven lockdown if it were to happen."

"Who's Naomi?" Dean grunted. Castiel just stared, images that did not make sense flashing up in his mind, yet still leaving him without enlightenment.

"Our new general. Head of all the army that's left. We were hoping Crowley would jump at the opportunity to make the deal," Inias explained.

"So why isn't he? Why would he want Cas free instead of a, no offense, lower level angel I'm guessing?" Sam pressed. "It can't be about it being better the devil you know," the younger Winchester flashed a fleeting grin amusing himself, appreciating the paradox in the otherwise well placed analogy.

"Offense or not, but reason could be in exactly what you just said. The deal will only seal between participants of roughly the same magnitude of powers, which means Crowley would have to lose some of his abilities if he wanted in," Inias explained.

"But if I agree to the deal, it's me who'd have to lose some of my powers. Although a lot less than Crowley would think, as it stands," Castiel stated somewhat clinically.

"Let's suppose for a minute that he'd agree," Dean gestured towards Castiel, "are there any special ingredients we need for the spell?"

"Apart from fresh blood from the participants taken no longer than ten minutes before the procedural, nothing," Inias provided, "the rest of herbs and carcasses I have in this bag," he produced a pouch from the inside of his jacket and gave it over to Castiel for inspection.

"Cas?" Dean addressed the angel for the first time since their coming back. The matter of Castiel being able to stay on earth was immensely more important than steering clear from him because he felt embarrassed by any association with gayish activities. "Is it at all possible to trust an angel? I mean, other than you."

"From experience, Inias has been very faithful and fervent in the past," Castiel contemplated, "but of course the way heaven operates has changed too much to build our bets on that. Regardless, I don't see why they'd lie about this. The deciding factor would be Crowley though. If his intellect deems it as no trap, that's good enough for me. Dean. Could you summon him back for me?"

"You didn't think I'd stray far?" Crowley appeared back all on his own with a pleased smile.

"No deal." Castiel stated.

"Cas. Are you sure about this!" Dean raised his eyebrows surprised.

Castiel held up a hand to ask for time, "we'll do a double instead. Two angels for two demons."

Crowley smiled at that, "two, huh? Wouldn't such a thing hurt your boyfriend's feelings? Oh well, can't say I haven't thought of you suggesting that," he clicked his fingers for Meg to appear on the floor in front of him, seemingly half unconscious and bloody, "I guess I'll just have to play with you later precious," he addressed the demon.

"Really Cas?" Dean objected as the king of hell predicted, although for slightly different reasons. Jealousy however did touch the surface of his emotions when Castiel stepped to the female vessel and gently lifted her into his arms.

"I assume we're all ready then," the higher ranking angel disregarded the humans as he fluttered away with the demon.

"What? Did he just trick you into releasing Meg and that's the end of it without a deal?" Sam looked at Crowley confused.

"I doubt it," Crowley growled, but he didn't sound too sure. "I know where he went," he followed out the room.

"Castiel is right, the ritual and power manifestations might not be suitable for human eyes. Now that we have found him, your assistance is no longer required." Inias assured them before disappearing himself, supposedly to wherever the others went.

"Freakin angels man!" Dean grumbled previous to remembering the compromising situation he had landed in afore high ranking demons and angels doing deals in his motel room. Not looking Sam in the eyes, he ambled to the refrigerator and took a beer out.

"Are you ok with this? Them leaving us out? They pretty much behaved as if we weren't here the whole time!" Sam frowned.

"What would you want me to do!" Dean groused, "call for Cas so we could sign as witnesses?" He spilt some of the beer opening it with his wide gestures. Thinking about how his angel had been protecting and holding Meg was frazzling his nerves.

"I think you should call him in a little while, make sure everything's ok," Sam suggested, settling back down on his bed, "you know, just so we don't miss anything this time." He moulded his pillow to a shape that would make it comfortable and closed his eyes. The younger brother took quite a few slow, sleepy breaths before he spoke again, startling a Dean who had hoped he could avoid the subject altogether, "where were you?"

"Galapagos. You know Cas and his nature watches. He wanted me to be there too," Dean fibbed.

"So what did you need to see? Turtles mating?"

"Sea lions, Sammy," Dean noted, not entirely lying this time. There were sea lions there. "The males have harems, did you know that?" The hunter scrambled in his head for pretty much the only bit of information he had about sea lions, hoping he remembered it right from one of those times Castiel did talk about those animals instead of bees, cats, butterflies or monkeys.

"Oh not you too!" Sam aimed the spare pillow at Dean, "jerk." And he settled with that, to his brother's relief.

Tbc


	6. The Second Coming

Chapter 5: The Second Coming

Dean was pissy, very pissy. Sam noted to himself that when Cas didn't reply for a while, it was not unusual for his brother to cuss, barely grunt civilities and forget that it is possible to have a good time sometimes despite their everyday job, but this time the bad moods and alcohol indulgence to the extent he had to let Sam drive the morning after, have started a lot earlier than usual. The younger Winchester had learnt to ignore him and leave him alone as much as possible. He certainly wasn't going to ask what Dean had been doing in the bathroom repeatedly for that long.

In theory, Cas' absence should've not mattered, Dean emphasized to himself several times. It should've not been of too much importance either that the angel could possibly be banging Meg as we speak, cause well, he certainly wasn't gay and thus could not be jealous. Yet every time he tried to work his frustration off with a good wank, he could hardly get himself erect, let alone finish for the disturbing images that kept flashing up in his mind. Cas, kissing and groping Meg, mojoing their clothes off to lean down to her folds and take her. Meg had a sexy meatsuit, no doubt, so why did that hinder him jerking off rather than help?

Dean pulled the skin of his length up and down desperately, muscles of his arms and whole back tensing as he put in the effort. His fingers were cramping up from their rigid position and yet his dick did not follow them in becoming stiff. His thighs ached too from bending a little, so he stopped for a moment to flex everything before he spit into his palms to rub the moisture down his length, frantic for as much help as he could give himself. Feeling coming back into his fingers due to the different movement, he took to increase the pressure of his grip as he slid them up and down his cock with impractical determination.

"Do you need any help Dean?" Castiel's gravelly voice shocked him to a halt. "You look distressed," the angel observed.

"Ngh," Dean was rendered speechless as Castiel took the hunter's penis into his smaller, soft hands, stroking him slowly, while his thumb remained rubbing the tip, drawing various patterns on it randomly. Dean made a conscious effort to try to speak, but with the angel's hand moving up and down, his lips right in his field of vision, practically filling it, with Castiel's body not much more than an inch away so close the Winchester could feel the vivid warmness of celestial grace emanating out of the vessel, it proved pretty much impossible to utter any intelligible words. He stood there mesmerised for a good minute, feeling himself steadily growing harder without any effort, knowing that the mere sight of Castiel would've gotten him there anyway, no doubt. It was hard to believe that Cas could make him fall to pieces like this, but he had to admit it was true. The angel's absence was the reason he could find no enjoyment in masturbation, nor life itself.

Castiel was still only running his fingers down the human's cock gently, yet there were shivers of feeling going through all of Dean's body. The trick wasn't in the action, it was in the identity of the person doing it. Castiel never broke eye contact all the way through and Dean was lost in the intense blueness of the eyes belonging to the supernatural being.

It was a more firmer grasp of his engorged length that snapped him out of his trance. Dean moaned and leaned into the touch, now stroking him fast, probably faster than any human could ever manage.

"Let me do it my way," Castiel murmured into his ear with a sensual, enigmatic purr.

Dean didn't feel able to argue even if he wanted to. He let Castiel crush his lips against his in a surprise move. The feeling that followed and hit him was even more surprising, it was charged. In some ways, Dean recognised its energy, in essence it was the same that he felt when Cas healed him or zapped him somewhere, but he hadn't quite imagined it could be used like this. Castiel's lips conveyed not just the angel's passion and devotion, but a curious sexual energy that erected the recipient's nipples, made a shiver go through every one of his pores and tormented his crotch in the most delightful way. Rock hard, Dean found himself biting down on Castiel's bottom lip to keep himself from screaming out in pleasure.

All of a sudden, he had to take charge, claim Castiel, have all of him. Attacking those lips savagely, he pushed the angel to the wall, hands roaming everywhere and vaguely registering that somewhere along the line the angel must've mojoed both of their clothes off. The hunter's breath came in gasps, his body glistening with the euphoric overdose Castiel seemed to have inadvertently administered to him. And then he cummed, just because they have done as little as kiss.

Clinging to his partner, he could only moan and cling to the stronger life form as he emptied himself of weeks' worth of cum he had been unable to release without Castiel. This wasn't like having sex with a human, woman or man and it will never be because the angel could provide so much more. The proverbial heaven, as it was.

"I hope my way has satisfactorily pleased you," Castiel peeked at him, uncertain and tentative, "there are a lot of other nuances of my grace and celestial body that I can try utilising."

"Uhm, hold that thought for later," Dean laughed, relieved. He could've never imagined sex could be so gratifying, "Cas. You're perfect. Don't ever change." Dean was still clinging to the other's naked form, his afterglow preventing him from entering or wanting to contemplate the outside world. Yet his head was clear, clean, their union strengthening the profound bond between them so he could see with perfect clarity that he should nor would care about frivolities like social norms, machoness or the constraints of self consciousness. All those people out there, they had no idea what it was like to be with an angel, to have and hold a being like Castiel. Sammy, they should come clean to Sammy first. Dean took hold of Castiel's hand, intending to drag him out the bathroom to face Sam right there, right at that point while he still had the guts. Looking down at the angel however made him remember though that they were both naked. That lean body before him, Castiel's sexhair tangled by their rough kissing, those rosy lips he had never seen so alive before. Sammy could wait.

The End.


End file.
